We decided it could be fun to head out to the Père Lachaise Cemetery to visit Oscar Wilde and anyone else interesting lying about. It was really cool! The place is something in itself, moving from scary overgrown dark graveyard to light open structured plots, and there’s plenty of interesting memorials around. We found Chopin, Jim Morrison, and Victor, someone who was rubbed a lot for good luck.

Oscar Wilde is quite the hit with the ladies. Lauren didn’t have any lipstick, but did scribble him a note. It was all quite an experience.

Our hunt for food nearby unsuccessful, we caught the Metro home and grabbed sandwiches and treats from nearby, still managing to avoid the threat of rain.

We hadn’t explored Left Bank yet, so that was the idea for the rest of the day. Swanky looking place, swanky looking people. We were trying to copy a route in Lauren’s guide that would take us exploring and gathering food, but that was designed for bikes and was all rather confusing, so it didn’t go well.

After regaining composure in a nice little park, we headed back to Les Etages, a cool looking and very red bar we’d seen on the way. Lauren had coffee, I had a cocktail. Then we had cocktails. And more cocktails. It was a great little place, the drinks were small but deceptively powerful, and very yummy. Amazing strawberry mojitos.

More strolling led us to picnic shopping at a few places and our picnic stop, the Luxembourg gardens. A lovely green place, we watched a stream of runners and a foxy old man seated with his feet up on another chair, chatting to women that wandered by.

We were ushered out of the park at closing time past the Senate, and walked across Left Bank to the Metro home. A quiet night in with the French movie The Valet, and that was Paris with Lauren.

We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring Montmartre, which is just the coolest of places. Lunch took a while to decide on but was delicious, outside a red corner cafe with a fun waiter. Lauren bought a cool bracelet watch thing, we saw a guy pasting up some awesome street art, I had the most incredible Nutella and hazelnut crepe. And we found Berko, full of the most fantastic little cupcakes. We shared two. So tiny!

The Moulin Rouge was just down the road in Pigalle and we caught the Metro home from there, a quick stop before walking over to the Latin Quarter again to find supplies for the nights picnic.

We walked past the Pompidou, brushed by Notre Dame with its equally pretty neighbors, and spent the next age trying to find a corkscrew after accidentally throwing out the other one with the trash last night. Many shops later we found one, gave the store owner a laugh over how excited we were that we had, grabbed the rest of our ingredients from an assortment of grocers and patisseries and caught the train over to the Eiffel Tower.

Words fail to express just how incredibly cool the thing is. I couldn’t believe we were actually there. We grabbed a patch of grass and set up a slightly more impressive picnic than last nights (baguette, camembert, salami, avocado, cherry tomatoes, treats from the patisserie, two very cheap wines), watching the light fade behind the Eiffel Tower. Paris is pretty magical.

Hours later we walked across the river, looking back at the Eiffel Tower from Palais de Chaillot, and continued along the north edge towards home. We zigzagged across the river on its beautiful bridges, finished the wine on one, took in all the awesome buildings and monuments along the way, and Lauren bruised herself falling down stairs in a club on a boat after using their toilet.

It was a very long walk. So long we gave up near home and caught the Metro from around the Louvre. Another incredible day.

The baggage took forever to show up, transfer and ticketing took a little time to get the hang of, the train was an age, and everything just took a little longer than I hoped. Which meant our very central Paris hostel, with our very cool room and our very, very cool view, contained a slightly worried looking Lauren on my late arrival.

We headed out to explore, completely wide eyed and giddy, our first stop the patisserie around the corner. The food! Oh my, the food. Lauren’s little map led us through Marais, one of the oldest parts of Paris.

Like everything here, it’s impossibly beautiful, all of it. Every street is stunning. And the girls!

We came across an awesome looking cafe, Le Loir dans la Théière. There was a tiny line but we were soon seated, and ordered a slice of chocolate tart, despite everyone and everything being in French. The tart was incredible, so rich, and the cafe was all so cool. As we left, the line had grown out to the street.

We ducked in to a cathedral, zigzagged our way through more streets, making our way over the Seine. The building by the river we’d hoped to get up was still open, and we sneakily headed up through its glass interior to a giggle inducing view of the Notre Dame and cityscape.

The next task was to find a drink somewhere nice. Not long after, that changed to a drink somewhere nice that we could actually afford. Paris really is very expensive. We grabbed a glass of red each and a sandwich seated at a cafe near the river in the Latin Quarter, before coming up with our cunning picnic plan.

After a false start in a health food shop, we found a supermarket with the necessary ingredients, including cups and a bottle opener. A baguette, soft wedge of brie, a bottle of 2 Euro wine, then just after leaving the supermarket and rushing back, a second bottle of cheap wine. We settled in on the edge of the Seine directly opposite the Notre Dame as the light started to fade.

This was pretty much the greatest thing I’ve ever done. Bread, cheese, wine, Lauren, Paris at sunset. We had good company picnicking and drinking around us, beautiful people strolling past, boats chugging by, and Paris. After darkness fell and our supplies ran dry, we went in search of a bar Lauren had in her book.

Some time later we did find it, had cocktails, and made the long late walk home. Totally, completely, madly in love with Paris!

The main journey for the day was out to the Red Beach, a long bus ride away to the middle of nowhere. It was very red, and full of people. Went for a swim, but it’s not much of a beach beach.

I continued walking around the coast to a beach at the other end of the bay, covered with smooth pebbles, isolated by white cliffs and all but deserted. The water here was amazing and completely clear, you could see the rocks covering the bottom well after you could sink down and touch them. So that was a highlight.

After swimming and laying about on the beach for far too long, I walked back the same way to the few restaurants by the beach where the bus passes through. Picked out one that looked great, and wasn’t disappointed. The tomato balls were AMAZING, the list of ingredients was longer than my arm. They more than made up for yesterdays very average ones. I also had the local spin on moussaka, and was given my first try of proper Greek yoghurt with honey and fruit. Which was just incredible. And the view was beautiful too!

The buses on Santorini are awful. Really, really awful. Most places only get a few buses per day, if they even decide to show up. So instead of waiting forever, I walked up to Akrotiri to explore and kill some time until a bus hopefully passed through. The old fort in the center of the village was undergoing repair and was a great place to climb about. And there were animals everywhere.

Still seeing no bus I started walking along the road toward home, stopping for a horrifically overpriced Coke, until finally one went by. Jumped off that in the middle of nowhere to catch a connecting bus to Perissa. That one took over an hour to show up, time I spent standing in the sun with a Spanish mother and daughter who’d been stuck doing the same.

Finally arriving in Perissa, I walked the length of the beach as the sun disappeared behind the island. It’s a nice stretch, with lots of bars and restaurants lining the beach. Family friendly fun.

After some pacing about, I managed to get a bus back across the island to Santo Wines, a winery perched on top of the cliffs above the port. The sun had just set and the view was incredible. Waited for an age, had a couple of glasses of their wines, a slice of killer chocolate cake, and came to the realization I was never going to make the last bus home.

Called for a taxi, waited for another age in the cold, and finally made it home with a little time to spare before needing to leave for my flight. The crazy father of the lovely hotel family sped me to the airport at very high speed, I jumped on my flight with more crazy pretty Olympic Air hostesses, and got back to the same hostel on the bus in Athens like a total pro. Next, Paris!

And ended up in the most beautiful place I can imagine. It’s everything I’d hoped it would be! Just jaw droppingly beautiful. Impossibly beautiful. I just kept walking around the coast until I ran out of path.

And then I walked back again. Had lunch at some random place and tried tomato balls, a Santorini thing. Not nearly as great as the zucchini balls I’d fallen in love with in Samos, but I’m sure they’d be better from somewhere else. The view from my table was incredible though.

I got carried away with the photos. Look out for the world’s happiest dog!

Ate some delicious chocolate thing, somewhere between cookie, cake and slice, and jumped on a bus up to Oia at the tip of the island. This is where all those Santorini photos with the churches you see come from, and it’s also just as spectacular as you’d imagine.

Walked down the several hundred steps to the docks, dodging the donkey poo, which is difficult. Then back up again, which was fun.

Decided the best place to watch the sunset from was at a bar with a cocktail in hand, so I found a very pretty spot and grabbed a Negroni for some Campari love. Completely perfect.

As the sun kissed the horizon I walked along the edge of the cliff, through the hundreds of people lying about catching a final glimpse of the light. Once it was gone, clapping and cheering broke out, then everyone got up and left on queue.

A lovely girl asked me if I could take her photo, she took mine, and we got to talking. As we walked around taking photos together, we found out we arrived on the island at the same time, we were staying in the same hotel, and even had rooms next to each other. And that’s how I met Lyudmila, who is great!

We caught the bus back to Fira and tried to find a drink, which didn’t go so well, so walked back to the hotel and stayed up late eating and drinking wine outside by the pool. Good times.

Dropped the quad bike back after another fun trip home, and hit town for breakfast. Ate the best waffle of my life. Just look at the damn thing.

There was still a part of the island I hadn’t gotten to that’d I’d been told was awesome, and I figured I had enough time to walk there before having to catch my bus to the boat. About an hour there, another hour back. Optimism!

I made it, and it was beautiful. Running out of time, I ripped off my shirt and dove in for a short swim, which turned out to be a terrible idea. I don’t need to remind myself why. Then I was rushing back to the hostel, then the bus, then the boat, and off to Santorini.

Arrived at Santorini in the evening, and holed up in my room with Wifi feeling sorry for myself. Did some chores, caught up on the world, consoled myself by watching new season Weeds, and went to sleep.

Where Samos didn’t really feel like a Greek island, missing the white buildings and sandy beaches, Paros was all Greece, all the time. I was staying in Naoussa, a ways around the island from the ferry in Paros town, and was driven there by the hostel with a couple of nice American girls. The hostel is really lovely, relaxed and very Greek, the rooms all opening on to a porch surrounded by trees and green stuff.

I took a short walk through the very white buildings and narrow white streets in to the centre, searching for an ATM. It’s just like I hoped Greece would be! The island is peppered with tiny towns across its pretty barren landscape, so I was told I should rent a motorbike to explore. After I mentioned to Mr Motorbike Man that I’d never ridden a scooter before, he recommended a quad bike for my health. I grew up riding those and know how to throw one around, so I slapped down 22 Euro, grabbed my 150cc of awesome and hit the road.

I headed around the cost until evening, stopping at beaches and anywhere else that looked interesting. Took a couple of swims, and had a lot of fun on the bike blasting about sideways on gravel roads. Big grin! One thing I’d never realized was how damn empty these islands are. Everything is brown grass or brown rock, with occasional patches of trees and tiny villages. Very different from the lush forests and widespread greenness on Samos.

I wanted to be on the other side of the island for sunset, so I had to hurry over the centre of the island to see it set over the ocean from the west coast. SO MUCH FUN. Racing along empty ribbons of awesome, winding through the hills and valleys, throwing the bike in to one hairpin corner after another. Singing ‘Born to be Wild’ at the top of my voice as I headed down in to the setting sun. The bike is fast enough to be a lot of fun, and it was easily the most exciting thing I’ve done yet!

The sunset was beautiful, stunning colours. I found a spot on the coast by a church, the white and blue ones that are absolutely everywhere. Silent and alone.

I arrived back at the hostel well after dark, parked the bike up and walked down to the village again to where I’d seen cheap cocktails. Had a delicious fruit one to celebrate a day of dusty awesome, walked about town for a bit, and headed home to bed.

After an unsuccessful bid to explore the ruins next door, I split off while the girls shopped and instead explored a little near our hostel. The strange thing about Athens is that it doesn’t look distinctively Athens, most buildings are in a generic style that could be found in any period in other part of the world. So aside from the ancient stuff, it’s not a very unique or attractive city. And it’s full of noisy scooters.

We headed out in the sun to explore the cemetery at Kerameikos and its small museum, the later of which was better received, though the heat didn’t help. Lots of pottery, lots of gravestones. The ancient Greeks started to get quite carried away with their grave stones, creating larger and more intricate dedications, and they were eventually outlawed in favor of the small column ones as they ran out of space.

The walk back in to town was punctuated by a very welcome ice chocolate, and again we split as I lost track of the girls while they were shopping for shorts for Clare. I gave up hunting after a while, and walked off to Roman Agora to explore alone. I loved it! It was almost entirely empty of people, the sun was getting lower and I had the time to explore at my own pace, which as I was killing time was a fairly relaxed one. The Tower of the Winds was cool too, a water clock that seemed far ahead of its time.

There are so many clever little details in these constructions that I just love, like the shape and position of the holes for attaching columns upon each other, or the way the drainage was cut and considered along the tops of beams upon columns. Good geeky stuff that I spent far too much time crawling over.

The girls showed up as I was thinking of leaving, which was rather good timing. Another stop back at the hostel, then out to my last dinner with the girls. Bex and I picked random things off the menu, I think hers had something to do with a shoe? Mine was randomly bambi again, I think, and were both pretty great.

We grabbed crepes on the way home, a half hour wait for absurdly overfilled Nutella heart stopping awesomeness. And it was actually my first crepe, after passing on one at Notting Hill with Lorrie. We were pretty sure the guy making them was drunk. It was awesome. Farewell, Athens!

Off up the hill! We figured it would be sensible to not be outside in high 30 degree heat in the middle of the day after our experiences to date, so planned the day around that. We walked up to Areopagus, the big rock overlooking the city next to the Acropolis, then headed through the Agora and museum on the way back down. A little like the ruins we’d seen in Turkey, but lots more! More complete, better presented, and just greater. And with more trees and stuff.

We followed the road that circles the Acropolis to the new Acropolis Museum. No photos, but packed full of incredible stuff. They also had most of the original pieces of the Parthenon running around the walls of one floor of the museum, and were replacing them on the Parthenon with replicas. They’re pretty amazing up close, but I loved the smaller things the most, like the incredibly intricate drawings on beautiful small pieces of pottery.

Then it was off home for a few hours rest out of the sun, before heading back up to the Acropolis to explore the good stuff. A wow, it was good. Everything is huge and awesome, and so beautiful in the late afternoon light. The Parthenon is just epic. So here’s lots of photos from there.

And then the walk back down, as the sun headed for the horizon.

We headed back around to the changing of the guards at Parliament for another giggle, and managed to not act too much like children this time.

The walk back to the hostel through town as the sun set was very pretty, then we set off to find a cool place with live music for dinner. We knew the area to head for but the exact place was a bit of a pain to find, so instead we got talked in to going up to a place by its waiter. The view was amazing, though the food was somewhat uninspired and their live music fed needlessly through speakers. But that view!

A pretty beautiful way to end our last day with Lizzie. And then there were four.

We had lunch back at our first day lunch spot again too. Love the place, love the old couple, love the food. I had another glass of local sweet liqueur, much like the one from the first night, but the old guy picked it for me. Amazing.

Packed, jumped on a bus to the airport, then Olympic Air for the short flight to Athens. Olympic not only has the most stunning Greek girl flight attendants, but also on this flight a blond Barbie co pilot who looked like she’d just walked off a catwalk, complete with aviators.

Our hostel was in a pretty great spot, right in the centre of town. The girls were between two rooms again, and I was downstairs in a door room with Mr Mc Drunk Or Sleepy, who I didn’t see much of for obvious reasons.

We headed out to explore, making our way through the uninspired looking main shopping streets to the changing of the guards at Parliament. HILARIOUS. We were laughing far too much, and it was all terribly inappropriate. But gosh their little drill is funny.

Next, baklava! Of course. And some more unfriendly Athens locals. Then more walking, making our way through the small old lanes of jewelry, food and tourists.

Pretty nice really.

‘Up there’ being the important part. A really long way up there. Two hours of walking in the sun through the countryside, along a road that soon wound its way up a mountain. Well, near enough to a mountain. The journey was all rather spectacular though. We came so far!

Refreshments at the top of the hill, then walking about the tiny streets at the tiny houses. The village was just as pretty as I’d hoped. And they had a playground!

Downhill was easier, but still. A long way.

Caught the bus back to town and walked around the waterfront as the sun set, then we all headed out for dinner to a place we’d seen last night with live music. The girls got all dressed up, there was really yum cheap pitchers of wine, and it was all really great. Until I decided to get all sun stroked, feel faint, and throw up in a pot plant at the restaurant.

Clare took me home and played a great nurse, forcing me to down a giant bottle of water and sleep, after which she headed out with the girls for drinks. So I missed out on that. Bit of a stink way to spend my last night in Samos really.

Our hotel was fancy! Yes, a hotel. Suck on that, hostel. Accommodation had proved to be a little hard to come by when planning Samos, but with a cunning room arrangement it didn’t work out too expensively. As head of the Samos Island Accommodation Booking Committee, I was gifted the large single room with waterfront views. It was amazing, and all mine. Thanks Bex!

And the hotel had a pool on the roof! So we did that. Could really get used to this lifestyle. Some directions from the front desk pointed us towards a great area for food, and we did awesomely. Officially The Best Food Ever, we found a little place run by an old couple, with a shaded outdoor area covered with vines. It was just like having family cook for you, and they were so sweet – the man didn’t speak english, so we had a lot of fun communicating. It was perfect. Greek food is great!

We walked around the water to the nearest beach for our first swim in the Mediterranean. It was just as beautiful as it looks, and so warm. I planned poorly so just jumped in with my Hong Kong cargo shorts, and swam about with Clare and Lizzie. No towel either, but dried in a second. The lemon soft drink was yum too, good discovery.

We’d planned to head over to the old town next, but it got less interesting the further we walked, so we just explored the normal town. Which was was still pretty old.

Dinner was another pretty great win, in another lovely Greek outdoor vine filled establishment. There was even a water feature. I had a manly bambi-based local dish, with a port-like local aperitif.

We were keen for a cheap drink at home, which meant a fun trip to a supermarket. We left with a few bottles of wine and packets of greek cookies, and watched The Nanny in Clare and Es’s room. That show really holds up.

As full of people as it was, it was all still pretty impressive. We managed to get away from everyone for a while by heading down a path to some ruins further out, before heading back in to it all again.

We managed to take another break by finding a little house on one of the old side streets, stealing some shade from the 40 degree heat.

Everything thoroughly explored, we ate some leftover breakfast for lunch amongst trees and piles of stone. It’s somewhat strange to just be lounging about on blocks someone chipped together thousands of years ago. It was only a few kilometers back to town so we walked it, making for some pretty hot work without any shade along the side of country roads.

Then it was off to Kusadasi, which was a comparatively short mini bus ride away. A very snug ride too, as our driver wasn’t about to turn down a fare from any potential passengers along the way. Our hotel was pretty great, up a market street filled with people, and all of us were back in one room again for the first time since Istanbul. These were our pretty dirty feet when we arrived, with patterns by footwear.

We headed off in search of a beach, but really didn’t get anywhere. It’s an incredibly touristy city, far more than anywhere else we’ve seen, with several cruise ships and yachts always in port. This meant everything cost, and cost a lot.

After wandering about without any luck, we tried a bar hanging over the water that we could see people swimming from. But it turns out that would cost us, and more than just a drink – which were already terrifyingly overpriced. We instead stayed dry and lazed about in the sun there for a while, before feeling bad about not spending more money and running away.

Bex needed a towel, so that was the mission for the evening. We found success in a place at the top of the main street, where they priced towels by their weight. That was pretty novel.

Dinner was also more kick ass than we’d hoped, somehow picking somewhere quite great amongst everything else feeling so touristy. Mine was an amazing enchilada type thing, which also meant it was saucy. Success!

Our regular search for baklava and apple tea was hugely successful, with Bex falling madly in love with our dark and handsome Turkish host. So that was pretty great entertainment, especially her attempt at mean humor – ‘you probably smell bad’ doesn’t work well across languages. Just a note to the traveling romantics out there.

Hung about on our rooftop using the internets, then hit bed way too late. So beautiful up there!

This was my first look at proper ruins. Those are some pretty old rocks. It was great hearing the stories again from the guide, I wish I’d had more time in school to learn all this stuff. If I had, I’d have known Troy was rebuilt upon itself many times, and digging down through the layers reveals an even older Troy below the last. There’s some pretty smart building techniques happening there too.

As this was all part of our previously unplanned journey, we had little idea what to expect from Pergamon, our other stop. But whoah! It’s a long drive up a pretty huge hill, quite amazing how they got rock and water flowing all the way up there. It’s all just stunning. And we had a new guide that was very relaxed and chatty to our small group, which was now really just us and the Australians paying attention.

It was easily a highlight of my entire adventure. There were very few other people up there too, something we weren’t used to enjoying from the tour routes. The photos can speak for themselves, it’s all pretty breathtaking.

The Australians were looking tired.

After a few hours walking around on top of the hill in the sun, and once Bex had apologised for knocking over part of someones stall, we headed to our guides home. We we taken in to the business on the property, a carpet co-op, where they get in elderly women for a while to make carpets the old way. I got to see silk being spun for the first time, and we were ushered in to a room to have carpets thrown at us with hints to buy. Pretty cool, and very pretty.

We headed on to Selcuk as night fell. Sunset in this part of the world is pretty amazing. Stopped for dinner in Izmir and ate far too much again at a place our driver knew, very epic meals. Our hotel was fun, no one spoke english, and we somehow ended up being put in to rooms that were already occupied – mine had someone in the bathroom. That got sorted with some hand waving. Then sleep!

A sleep on the bus later, or a lot of Civilization Revolution on iPhone for me, we got to our swanky lunch stop at midday. On the peninsula in the middle of nowhere, it was the classiest meal we’d eaten yet, and included in our ticket – score! Aside from us and a great Australian couple in their late 20s, everyone was really very old. Which means we mostly kept to ourselves and let the Australian guy cover for us, avoiding conversations about race, politics, and any other uninformed rants the elderly enjoy having.

We spent the afternoon jumping on and off the bus at important places all over the peninsula. Sometimes we’d drive no more than a few hundred meters before getting off at the next thing. It’s all rather silly. I found our tour guide with his ridiculous accent and language hilarious, Clare not so much. Every sentence was repeatedly peppered with the same fantastically misused english words in his wacky accent.

The best thing about being on tour was being fed the stories by our guide. War is a horrible, horrible thing, and anyone that glamorizes or celebrates it is a fool. It’s senseless human slaughter, and in Gallipoli nothing more than a waste of a half million lives – an entire generation of thinkers, teachers, creators, sons and fathers from around the world. It’s a very sobering place.

After we spent the day feeling increasing depressed at the state of humanity, the group split and we headed to Canakkale with the Australian couple and just a few of the older couples. The ferry ride over to the mainland was pretty fun, and very windy.

The hostel was great. Clare, Es and I scored a lovely room together, while Bex and Lizzie were in a windowless vault with no air-conditioning. Dinner was tough work to find, there aren’t many vegetarian options in town.

We stopped off for more baklava, some tiny cookies and apple tea on the way back, though the apple tea was rubbish bagged stuff which wasn’t the best way to end. Spent a while trying to book the rest of our leg through Kusadasi and Samos, then hit bed.

The big plan for the day was Aya Sofya, so we started there. It’s so huge! And so old. It’s been through a lot, and has a great history. But seriously, HUGE! Unlike the others, it’s still pretty rough looking, with areas chipped away to expose older surfaces and mosaics covered up by conquerers and their religions over the ages. It’s all rather incredible. And again, way too many photos of ceilings and arches.

A coffee brought the girls to life, even if it was a bit rubbish. We went on the hunt for a pharmacy to make Bex’s back less painful, and got directed across town by an unbelievably helpful guy that sounded like he’d moved over from the UK. Turns out pharmacies are hard to come by on Sundays in Turkey. Who’d have thought.

It was a good excuse to see another part of town as we walked west along the tram route. And the pharmacy was open! Drugs and heat patches are crazy cheap, if you’re ever in town. Es and I grabbed some freshly squeezed pomegranate juice, which was a sillier idea than I’d imagined. It’s not easy to drink a lot of that stuff, it’s pretty sour, but Es managed to knock back her one pretty quick.

And baklava! Holy smokes. I’d never had it before, but it’s the best thing ever. Baklava and green tea are now hunted down at every opportunity.

We came across another mosque, and it was stunning. Huge and completely immaculate. Ceiling photos! And the girls in their classy dress.

We headed over the hill towards yesterdays food bazaar in search of the palace, wandering through a run down local part of town which was something we hadn’t experienced yet.

We managed to avoid buying turkish delights at the bazaar again, but it was hard.

Finding the palace didn’t go so well. Which was a bit of a pain, as we’d been told it was the one thing we absolutely had to see. Instead, we stopped by another mosque. More incredibleness.

Then, first dinner! We stopped in somewhere vegetarian looking for bread and dippy stuff halfway home, next to where Bex had got excited and bought handmade sandals. Bread, dippy stuff and other appetizers – like wrapped wine leaves and stuffed peppers – is the greatest way to eat.

Second dinner was in the same area we ate in the first night, only now we were all over the food thing and went for more of the appetizers. And three deserts – a custard thing, something a little like a giant baklava, and more balaclava. This whole food thing is awesome.

Later we walked over to sit outside in the street again with baklava, apple tea, and Es and I tried rake. It was anise flavored, which might have been okay if it didn’t taste so watered down too. Es gave up, and I somehow managed to finish both our drinks. Not so yum, but as the national drink, we had to try.

And that was Istanbul! Great food, beautiful places. I had no idea what to expect, but it was all very amazing and a lot of fun. Very clean and safe feeling too, so long as you don’t mind every person approaching you with great enthusiasm to sell their things. It’s all fun!

Our first visit was the Blue Mosque, only a few minutes from our hostel. And wow. So spectacular. The amount of detail on every surface is so beautiful, and on such a large scale. As well as the epic exteriors, this is also when my obsession with ceilings and their domes, arches and patterns really took hold. I’ll spare you most of the photos, but every little piece of them has something beautiful happening.

We stopped in to a smaller mosque on the way in to town, so here’s another ceiling. Everything was symmetrical, which appeals rather a lot. Bex got in to the bartering spirit by grabbing a fez.

Zigging across town, we headed for the Grand Bazaar. Which is completely absurd, and full of SO MUCH STUFF – all of it unnecessary, most of it shiny. As you no doubt know, the Turks are a pushy bunch, but it’s a pretty crazy thing to actually experience. Every shop, every restaurant, every stall, every person on the street is quite insistent that you give them your attention, time and money. It’s fun, and, for me anyway, rather interesting to compare their methods and successes against our way of doing business.

By now, something else rather extraordinary had happened. I was a god to these people. One guy, four pretty girls. As the others hunted for jewelry in a stall in the Grand Bazaar, the owner put his hand on my shoulder, took me aside and congratulated me, then asked if I knew what a harem was. It was the first of many local discussions of my female conquests. My Turkish nickname is ‘Lucky’. Walking down the street with the girls, I’d be greeted with ‘Hey, Lucky!’. What a country.

After stopping back home, we wandered across town again to the food bazaar Bex and Lizzie had discovered yesterday. We got stuck in a park after heading in to a museum unknowingly, walked some back streets, through another park, and decided it was time for more food. We took our lessons from last night and made sure we got dippy stuff and a main with yoghurt, so it was yummier than before. And we were plied with plates of free bread. More benefits of traveling Turkey with the girls.

Then, the Egyptian Spice Bazaar. HEAVEN. Stall after stall of Turkish delights, fruits, spices, olives, everything. We all got a heap of Turkish Delights and tried some dried fruits. So good!

The girls had gotten all excited about the baths, so we headed over the hill to town for them to get all massaged and stuff. The walk was through a pretty run down area of stalls and dodgy guys hunting you down to sell perfume. Bex was keen to get some after chatting with our hostel neighbors, so she launched in to battle. It wasn’t pretty, I wouldn’t it. Lizzie and I instead launched in to a game of looking touristy by photographing old guys pushing carts, which was fun.

Some more time around markets in the main part of town, then I left the girls to their girly bath experience and ran 12k around the waterfront at sunset. Rather pretty.

Many hours and a little time travel later, we got to the hostel without issue late afternoon and met up with Bex and Lizzie. Much excitement! The hostel is in an amazing old area, surrounded by great old stuff, markets, and food. And lots of people. And around the corner from the Blue Mosque!

Some scouting done, we grabbed our first meal, mostly kebaps. Two lasting lessons were learnt. Firstly, Turkish food seems to be largely absent of any kind of sauce, unless you get dip separately. So it’s pretty dry. And secondly, they love their bread – and so do I. It’s so good! The giant zeppelin shaped thin stuff you always get, while fun to look at, isn’t so fantastic, but all the other breads are amazing.

We headed around the corner to sit outside on the ground at a place after dinner, and the other big Turkish hit was discovered – apple tea is AMAZING! Sweet hot syrupy goodness in tiny glasses. Sitting outside on cushions sipping apple tea, shisha-ing, laughing in the heat as the light fades. I love it.

With a healthy SLR for the whole day for a change, I wandered about exploring the city again. So old. So pretty!

Met up with Clare and Es for lunch at the Wellington cafe. The coffee was appropriately great, and the wind was appropriately windy. And in a way it was awkwardly hilly, as you had to walk down from the street to order, then up to the street and back down to the outside area to eat. They nailed it.

Headed over to Sarah’s show (Wellington represent!), which I knew was going to be awkward for any people that stumbled in unknowingly. But wow. Even Sarah said it was her most uncomfortable show. Tough crowd, but you did great!

Got distracted by another oompah band playing awesome songs (Turn Around Bright Eyes as I walked off) on the way to dinner with Clare, Es and the family friends they were staying with. Wish I could use that excuse more often. It was totally yum, especially the enormous, mousey chocolate cake. I finished Es’s, then got my own.

Clare and I had grabbed tickets to Frisky and Mannish after seeing them at MacAuley on my first morning, and they were a highlight of the festival for us. Theirs is an incredibly funny commentary on popular music, including the best audience participation I’ve ever seen – a room full of people shamelessly busting out awesome moves. They’re incredible musicians too, especially her voice. Just amazing.

Then it was off on my own for the last few hours of the night, enjoying my last time amongst the Fringe vibe. My last show was Andrew Maxwell, an Irish comedian we’d seen at MacAuley in the morning who I’d laughed at more than any other. His standup was also very funny, and felt just like a funny guy chatting to a bunch of friends. Very personable, but missing some of the mornings absurdity as he didn’t have other people on stage to interact with.

And that was Edinburgh! Fringe was amazing, it makes a quaint and rather pretty town just come alive.

This was going to be the best day for Fringe shows, starting with the Ukulele Project with Clare and Es. THEY WERE AWESOME! Three very talented kids just a little younger than ourselves, putting every other ukulele based act to shame. A big, big highlight. And we all fell in love with the girl.

I’d also managed to discover a cool a cappella group from Oxford! Yes, ukulele and a cappella in one day. Brilliant. They were as fun as I’d hoped they’d be, and I got dragged in to some audience participation too for blind dating. Blindfolded, I was sung at by two girls with the group, and had to chose which I liked the most. Really fun, and scored a kiss too.

I carried on by myself for more adventuring and sights about town, and on the hunt for more show tickets from venues. And that McDonalds, finally.

Ferris Bueller’s Way of Life grabbed my eye so I headed along, not knowing what to expect – like most other things. It was pretty great, a guy talking about parallels between moments in the movie and his (rather interesting) life. Fun stories, quite sweet at times, and pretty funny too.

Then I was sprinting over the hill to another venue, trying for spare tickets released at the last minute for Chris Addison’s sold out stand up. And I got one! Which was AWESOME. I hadn’t seen his stand up before, but he was incredibly funny and very animated. Lots of middle class jokes. Easily a highlight too.

Another awesome Gourmet Burger meal and it was back to the hostel late. Sleep!

As the girls already had tickets for nearly everything they wanted to see, I went off on my own to hunt down some for myself. Turns it’s best to get the ticket at the venue the performance is at, which involves a bit of trekking about. It was a great way to see the town though, which has so many ‘ooh pretty!’ moments as you turn corners. It’s really very pretty. Saw the Castle, lots of great old stuff, beautiful parks, and lots of Fringe things.

And then I ran in to Rosie! Completely unexpected, unbelievable odds stuff. But it happened, and it was awesome, and we made plans to meet up later.

My first ‘real’ show was Comedy Bitch, a group I’d seen at MacAuley in the morning. They’re a 6 member comedy sketch group, and were awesome. Clever premises, very very funny. I managed to pick up a new battery for the SLR afterwards, so no more dramas!

Then it was one on to one that had caught my eye, The Axis of Awesome. With a name like that, how could it not, and I’d seen a few clips of them on Youtube. They’re a 3 member Australian funny music group, like Flight of the Conchords but more rocking – and more Australian. They were easily the highlight of the day. One song was titled “I’m not trying to touch your ass, I’m just trying to put my seatbelt on”, and another was entirely about KFC. And they had lasers! Just brilliant.

Then I met up with Rosie and her buddies, and things got even more awesome. Pear cider! Lots of pear cider (I had to text Lorrie to thank her), which we drank outside with an oompah band. Top that! And because one of her friends worked at Fringe we got in to some shows for free. We saw Caroline Rhea (from Sabrina) doing standup, which was better than I expected, and some truly horrible late night standup that was completely in the dark. There was lots of fantastic heckling, which combined with its horribleness actually made it really fun.

We ended up at a Fringe gig dancing until very late, then found somewhere else for more drinks, and I ended up back at the hostel after 5 in the morning. Great night!

Jumped off to switch tubes, then found that the connecting train only ran at peak hours. Not so great. Stood about on the platform waiting for a tube running to another station that I could transfer to another tube to get to another station where I could get the tube to Heathrow… And that took a while. Regardless, I missed baggage drop off by less than 10 minutes, and consequently my flight.

So that’s going to be my only screw up of the trip. Thankfully the next flight was another 100 pounds and left 45 minutes later, so aside from the sweat and the expense, it was okay.

My hostel for the first two nights was a bus and a hike away, and run by an absolute nut bar. He was completely wacky, though thankfully not too much in a frustrating way. The place is big and really nice, so you can forgive the his madness and love of absurdly loud movies or music at all hours.

I had a few hours to kill until meeting Clare and Esther, so I headed out for a run toward a big hill. And then up the hill, overlooking the town, just like in The Illusionist. It’s what I’d imagined the UK would be like, everything old with cobbled roads, and very, very pretty. Running back through town at sunset was beautiful too.

Met Clare and Es after dark for a drink before our first show, a taster cabaret of a few different acts. It was good at times, and painful much of the rest. The vibe about town is awesome though, it’s just packed with happy people and cool stuff at all hours. Made plans to meet in the morning, and that was a crazy first day.

Took the overground in to Waterloo just to mix it up a bit, and wandered over to Big Ben and friends. It’s all surprisingly intricate for its scale.

Buckingham Palace was pretty crazy. Aside from the usual changing of the guards, at some point later in the day the Prince cruised in. Apparently. I didn’t stick around because nothing was happening, aside from lots of people milling about.

Strolled back towards the river, stopping at the pretty things on the way. Wandered in to Westminster stuff, which was a highlight. The stuff on the walls inside showed some serious age, as did wear on the floors.